Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.
Matthew 5:19 NIV
Not avoiding conflict
There will be times of conflict between teammates, with the other team, your coach, the ref, and even the fans. Take an example with the ref. He makes a call against you. You are sure that you didn’t foul. You could fuss and cry, use body language to show the crowd that he blew it, or maybe start playing real aggressive since the dumb ref is going to call you for a foul anyway. Here is another approach — don’t react at all most of the time. Then say a guy is driving and you go up for what you think is a clean block. The ref calls you for a foul. Then while you are lining up for the freethrow ask him if it was hand for body. Then whatever he says nod your head up and down in a sign that you understand what he called. What you are really agreeing to is that you stepped onto the court as a player and he stepped on the court as the one who calls fouls. The ref doesn’t jump in and intercept a pass and go down and take a shot. And you don’t decide weather he should get to call fouls based on your perspective. When he knows that you have accepted his authority to make calls, you will get better calls than the guy who whines and cries and tries to intimidate or show up the ref.
What if the ref is definitely biased, and you are getting a home job? Do the same thing. He might be embarrassed and start making even handed calls. He might not. But you are showing to everyone in the gym that you take your role as a player seriously, and that you are doing all you can do to be a peacemaker with the ref. Then, even if you end up on the short end of the score, you can walk off the court knowing that you put in your best effort. You may be surprised at what you win outside of the one game.